he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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