Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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