Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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