The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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