Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
