Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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