You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
