I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
