You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize