yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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