Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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