It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
be right there i have to get my cape
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
