how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
