You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
