other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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