porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish you could order shots online.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
