oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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