we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
