you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
