Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
