Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
