Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
