i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
