I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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