Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My ass is underappreciated
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
