Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
