I hate your face
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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