just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
