a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
