you turned your livingroom into a bong?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
