He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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