You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
