peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
