We won't sleep together?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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