I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
