Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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