Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
