Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
