the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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