I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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