Kiss
Puke
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
