i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was born a porn star she said
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
