she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
