we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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