it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
