8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize