i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
