she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
