I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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