I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize