Me. At least after what I've been through.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize