Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
