and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
