i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize