HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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