Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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