Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
