your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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