So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
